Photo by Roxana Popovici on Unsplash
Sometimes you sleep in until noon, only to wake up and see “That Girl” on your social media feed. She wakes up at 5 a.m., goes to Pilates, makes her green juice and matcha lattes, applies her skincare, journals, and, of course, keeps her room spotless. Though framed as a role model, the “That Girl” aesthetic transforms wellness into a requisite of productivity and perfection. Behind this aesthetic, however, hides a culture based on health, appearance, wellness performance, and self-care with surveillance, which isn’t healthy. Instead of promoting balance and mental health, it breeds comparison, guilt, and burnout, the complete opposite of genuine self-care.
TikTok and Instagram idealize minimalist traits that seem composed and clean, pressuring many young women to try to emulate them. Instead of fostering self-compassion, it leaves many girls anxious about their looks and extremely self-critical.
The “That Girl” trend arose in 2021, as people craved order and motivation during the chaos of the COVID-19 Pandemic. With gyms closed and uncertainty everywhere, routines offered stability and something that people could control.
But soon, “That Girl’ became less about feeling good and more about looking good. Videos showed spotless apartments, glowing skin, color-coordinated smoothie bowls, and daily planners filled with productivity. So-called “wellness” became filtered and monetized, as influencers struck brand deals.What was once a movement towards self-betterment turned into a commercialized facade, prioritizing a performance of health rather than a pursuit of it.
Brands caught on fast, and social media algorithms rewarded this performative version of health with all of the polished lighting, slim bodies, and pastel tones, and turned it into an aspirational idea. Suddenly, every candle, yoga mat, and protein powder promised to make you “That Girl.”
Worse, the movement’s message was essentially, “you can have it all if you just try hard enough,” calling for people to change who they are. Toxically filtered through consumerism, the aesthetic of “That Girl” has been lost. What began as empowerment devolved into pressure.
At its core, wellness should be about balance, nourishing the body, caring for the mind, and resting the soul. But under this impossible culture, it becomes a moral performance. Self-care, used to remind women that taking a break matters, but now it is a checklist of aesthetic achievements:
- 6 a.m. Pilates? Check
- Matcha instead of Coffee? Check
- Journaling in neutral tones? Check
Despite self-care being intended to invoke calmness, many young people feel guilty when they fail to meet these standards. In fact, psychologists note that this constant comparison raises cortisol levels, undermining the very calm that people seek. For this reason, many therapists hate the “That Girl” standard.
The commercialization of wellness has made true care almost unrecognizable. While self-care used to mean taking time for yourself, a walk, or a nap, now it is an industry worth over $2.2 trillion. By turning wellness into an aesthetic, social media strips it of accessibility and authenticity. Yet, the irony is that people who need rest, nourishment, and care are the ones made to feel inadequate for not living up to the aesthetic of perfection.
The “That Girl” ideal promised encouragement and support, but delivered exhaustion and insecurity. We must chase balance while also denying the chaos that makes us human. If we honestly strive for a healthier culture, we have to redefine trends like this as a feeling, not a look. Health is not the color of your drink or the hour you wake up; it’s how gently you treat yourself when you can’t have or do either. The real “That Girl” is not perfect; she’s present. And that version—unfiltered, unaltered, and unapologetically real—is the one worth becoming.
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