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Stories: The Follies of Coconut Ice Cream

Last updated on 1 Jul 2020

(Photo Credit: Jeni’s Splendid Ice Creams)

Killing people is bad, and so is coconut ice cream. Usually, fat kid Billy will, from time to time, refrain from the intake of coconut ice cream. Sometimes, Joe, the Alpha-male will take all of his strawberry-flavored ice creams as punishment for Bill not giving Joe his lunch money. Billy is mad. Mad mad. So mad in fact that he not only refrained from giving Joe his lunch money, but he also took Joe’s own lunch money. This was an act of war. The violence only ended when both Joe and Bill realized the uselessness of this conflict and eventually came together as one. Joe is the government, and Billy is the people. As alarming as it may seem, Joe, the Alpha-male, can be nice sometimes. So nice that when a different Billy or a foreign Joe hurt Billy or takes his lunch money, Joe stands up for him and makes sure he is a-okay. This protection isn’t free, however. Joe needs some of Billy’s lunch money for the sake of being in top-tier IP-man type fitness level. Otherwise, Billy, as he had soon come to terms with, would eventually fall under the yoke of a meaner Joe. Not only does Billy pay Joe willingly, but Billy pays him even more than he should. In return, Joe respects Billy and gives him a lot of freedom; play on the swings, have an extra cookie at lunch and even say the s-word. But sometimes, this love-affair doesn’t last so long. Billy can get mad after Joe takes a little bit too much money. Billy gets 12 other friends and eventually sends Joe crying to mama. They eventually convene in the sand-box and decide to get Joe the Beta-male to be their protector. Libertarians see that the people get as many civil liberties as possible while reducing the government as much as possible. However, they do not call for the total exclusion of a governing force in society, for without such, a free society would not be possible at all. Thereby, rights are protected by the government, while duties are completed by the people. This symbiotic relationship ensures stability and a good understanding of both sides of their roles. 


The founders of the Outspoken Oppa are also the founders of the La Cañada Charity. Every year on August 4th, we set up organized charities in Memorial park. We collect donations consisting of food, clothes, and toys. We believe in a world where every child has the opportunity to be lifted from poverty. Our mission is to provide the absolute necessities to the rising generation. We do that, by organizing charities annually across the city. We believe anyone has the capacity to revolutionize technology, pioneer science, and lead the nation. In 2018, we were able to collect 150 donations. In the 2019 charity, we obtained 1,200 donations meaning we had eight times more donations than the proceeding year. Our staff tripled over a year and we were able to reach a larger demographic. Join us in 2020 to help the homeless. Hope to see you then.

One Comment

  1. Ethan Kim Ethan Kim 5 Mar 2020

    When you go from a dessert to a political ideology in less than 400 words.

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